if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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