so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize