you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
