I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
