I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
