i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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