When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
