dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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