no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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