You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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