a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
