whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
