im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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