Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
