I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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