Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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