I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
