I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
