You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
