The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
