why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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