My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
