but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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