D3 body, D1 cock
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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