Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She even gives head with a lisp.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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