So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Randomize
