I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We left an ass print on the piano.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
