i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I checked into jail on foursquare
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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