drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
