CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
