just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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