awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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