so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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