I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
