dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
