Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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