i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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