What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
