sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
