It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize