We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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