The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
