the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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