you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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