Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
