dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
