He is like the real live version of the state fair..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
