highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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