out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
