I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
