i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
