but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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