No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
