Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
