garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize