If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The beer is more important than you right now.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
