you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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