You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
